Building Your Own Confidence

With the popularity of social media and the ability to “peek” into others lives, insecurity has the perfect breeding ground. The thing about social media is that most people are only posting about the good things, only posting the best of 200 selfies, and sometimes even exaggerating moments. I’m not saying that there are no authentic moments on social media; simply that 9 times out of 10 people are going to put their best foot forward, and why shouldn’t they? But, because of this, I feel like some people tend to compare thier lives and looks to others more now than ever before. Insecurity of course has many different sources. Abuse, trauma, neglect, life events, mental illness are all also know to be triggers of insecurity. In my life I have personally dealt with insecurity many times. Growing up I was always really insecure about my looks, my body and at times about situations happening in my personal and family life. Insecurity is an ugly bitch! I can tell you that for sure! It has kept me from trying new things, talking to guys I was interested in, kept me from expressing myself both verbally and creatively. Gaining confidence in yourself is one of the most liberating feelings you can feel. 

The root of self confidence is falling in love with every inch of yourself. It has taken me a long time to truly start loving myself. For me, I had to take active steps in my life to build my confidence and more importantly, I had to decide that I was worth loving. If you are reading, understand that you too are worth loving and that it is more than ok to not be perfect. Building confidence is easier said than done (believe me!) and it is not something you can do once and never do again. Below I’m going to share some the things that have helped me build my own confidence up. Take a look and try some of my teqniques out.
1. Keep A Journal

Writing out my feels helps me to see them and deal with them. When I’m feeling down I’ll write a list of things I’m thankful for. Sometimes it’s good to just write 10 positive things about yourself. Even if it’s not something you keep up with and write in everyday it is still a good thing to have around to let out some inner turmoil.

2. Exercise 

Exercise is good way to help you clear your mind of all negative thoughts. When I’m working out I’m too tired to think about anything negative. When I’m really not feeling myself,I train hard! It helps me by reminding me that no matter what I go through I am strong and I am capable. Yes, it also helps my body to look good but it has nothing to do with what I look like. It has everything to do with the fact that I love myself enough to do something that is good for me both physically and mentally.

3. Spending Time With Myself

You have to learn to love who you are before anyone else can love you. This is a hard lesson that I’ve had to learn over and over. In my life I have let people half love me or I’ve been in relationships that took way more from me than they put back in. It took me having to purpusly pull myself away before I relized that I would never truly find love until I loved myself. It takes confidence to be ok with being alone. The only way your going to build that confidence is to spend time with yourself. Look at yourself in the mirror and say that you love yourself. Forgive yourself for every mistake you have made no matter how big or how small because you deserve that.

4. Evaluating The People Around You

If you are constantly around people who make a point to point out your flaws or make little of your feelings you need to remove these people from your space. The circle you keep has an impact on you whether you like it or not. Surround yourself by people who lift you up. I’m not saying that you shouldn’t be friends with people who critize you. I’m saying you should evaluate and decide whether this person is being constructive or bringing you down. Take inventory of the people in your life, decide whether or not they help your confidence or hurt it. Give yourself space from people who bring you down.

5. Do Things That Bring You Out Of Your Comfort Zone

Some of the greatest things I have ever done are things that I was afraid to do. Force yourself to take a dance class, join the school play even though your friends might laugh, go to spoken word night and lay your heart out! Do the things that truly make you happy even if they are a little scary. This is honestly what has helped me to build me confidence over the years. Putting yourself out there is always going to be a little difficult and it will feel very very strange at first. Even if you feel like you embarrassed yourself, you’ll soon learn that that feeling will pass. It is ok to be uncomfortable, but it is not ok to not do something that could potentially make your really happy because you don’t feel like your good at it. You are!

These are 5 things I do to help me build confidence and love myself more. The thing is, there is no trick that will automatically make you the most confident person. I wish there was but insecurity is one of those thing you have to continue to work on. Even when you beat insecurity, life happens and one day you may find yourself feeling insecure about something else. As long as you always remember that you are worthy and it may not seem like it but everybody struggles with insecurity at some point you will be ok. You are not alone and I’m always here if you need a confidence boost! Thank you for reading I hope this has helped you in some way. As always please comment ways that you build your confidence. Feel free to reach out to me if you are struggling and need someone to confide in! 


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